SUBMISSION TO THE SHADOW
Submission to the Shadow or Etheric Double or Power Animal is very different than submission to your HGA. For one thing instead of the death of the ego you confront the loss of your humanity. You become a human animal for a time at least.
For me first contact came as an act of will. I willed the point of my awareness to plunge as deeply into the blackness as possible. It was like falling into a pit or being sucked into a black hole. There was fear of what I might encounter but not of loosing who I was.
We might say the first step in submission to the Shadow is the intentional act of falling into darkness. Like an air bubble in the water you can’t stay there and come back up. When you come back up you bring an attachment of dark energy with you and raise it up as high as you can to connect it with the light.
We might say the second step is raising the black energy up into us as high as possible in an effort to fill us with it.
I had a vivid dream over ten years ago of standing on the shore of a mighty ocean fishing. I caught this huge monster that was all teeth and pulled it up onto the shore. As it came onto the shore I realized that I could control it through the line that connected us together. I called it my “alligator puppy”. Somehow I knew that it was not my enemy but my friend and I would need it to fight my battles and to protect me from harm.
We might say the third step is the realization our Shadow is not a monster but a friend with the sacred task of protecting us from harm. My “alligator puppy” was not my Shadow but a shadow aspect that was integrated. I was learning to live and exist in the same astral world as my Shadow. This “alligator puppy” was in competition with my Shadow.
Our shadow is buried under our twisted fears and distorted thinking. Everything evil and unclean is thrown on top of it. Everything we hate and despise as not us is falsely thrust upon our Shadow. The shadow and the black energy is not evil. It is sacred and pure. It is the blackness of the womb before birth. It is the blackness of the earth that gives life. We might say the fourth step is the purification of our black energy.
As we begin to use our own black energy others send their black “shit” energy our way as well. We must learn to transmute and detoxify any type of black energy so we can use it as we wish. This means becoming immune to the toxic effects of other peoples black energy. We might say this period is one of attracting bad things and learning to cope with them.
Developing other astral bodies was a key part in the submission to the shadow. Every astral body I developed over several years was fought over astrally with a giant serpent or dragon. For a long time I thought the serpent was an alien life form. Later I came to realize it was my true Shadow. It was my task to control it and it didn’t want to be controlled.
Only after all seven astral bodies were fully developed would the final integration of the Shadow take place. I opened a portal where my feet touched the earth and a glowing yellow greenish light came forth. I lifted the greenish light and surrounded myself in it like a cocoon. It sealed me inside like an egg. It was tough and rubbery and pulled my astral bodies down into the earth and intensified my earth connection.
Many times I would raise energy out of the earth and surround myself in the blackness. More importantly I did Russian Kettlebell exercises. The Shadow is created out of physical energies not sexual or emotional energies. The only way to integrate the Shadow is to generate lots of physical energy through hard physical exertions.
When the integration finally happened I was intoxicated with the power I felt around me. My spirit was walking in the underworld of the Shaman. I was able to function in the world of Voodoo and reconnect with my ancestors. The mighty serpent had become my “soul mate” and was constantly at my side.
As time went on my Shadow or power animal appeared to be evolving to become more human. I can’t really say when the integration happened but I can say that I went a bit crazy. I gave away everything I owned and moved to Washington DC to live with a woman I had only met once. I knew that I was strong enough to start my life over from scratch and I did.
People around me felt the black earth energy and were afraid of me. They thought I had gone crazy or “evil”. Just as quickly my life normalized and I moved back to Minnesota to rebuild my life as a new person. The implications of integrating my Shadow are new and I’m still learning as things happen. What I can say is that the longing for an earth connection and the black energy has resulted in a polarity shift and my soul now seeks the light as it so recently craved the darkness.
I have become rooted in the energy of the earth as firmly as a giant OAK tree. I do not doubt the strength of this connection.
I feel the dark energy rising and bringing its own influence and insight into my life. For the first time in ten years I am reading philosophical literature and developing a modern magickal paradigm. This is not head tripping but something much more real and immediate that works. It is connected to the earth.
My soul no longer attracts “black energy” and negative events. Good things are happening and my ability to draw positive things and manifest them physically is the strongest it has ever been in my life.
I feel the black swirl around me at times in a comforting way that is very hard to describe. I am learning to trust in its strength. I am feeling the magick.